I was with my husband he ran across And old friend from childhood. she started telling me how he is to ask her for sex as she snuggled up next to him wrapping her arm in his. I said yes, I've also known him since I was 17. all I could think is THAT he was loving the attention because in the past he's put me in situating where he wanted me to be jealous and chase him even though he had me and i want going anywhere. somehow, he found kids to skate with in the street and left us to talk. it was awkward. when he came back he had a yellow sticky note paper in his hair, she went to take it out, i moved her hand and said im do it. he left again with this kid and the old friend had a girlfriend showed up and the old friend started whispering about me to her. i walked away and I found and old box to rummage through liking for deals. a business man showed up and me about mortgage i turned and said there's me husband. at that point I had found nothing of value in that box so I stopped looking. it's importance to note that I believe my husband had an undiagnosed personality disorder or NPD. IN OUR personal life, things are not that great because I finally started standing up for myself and stop allowing him to control my emotions and nervous system. with his manipulative behavior.
Dreams often reflect our inner thoughts, feelings, and unresolved issues, serving as a window into our subconscious mind. The dream you've described contains several poignant symbols and themes that can help us understand your emotional landscape and current life situation, particularly in relation to your husband and your feelings of insecurity and assertiveness.
Childhood Friend: Your husband's childhood friend symbolizes a connection to the past and perhaps reflects feelings of nostalgia. This character may also represent competition or threat, particularly as she appears to flirt with your husband and provoke feelings of jealousy. The dynamics in this encounter could represent your feelings of inadequacy or fear of abandonment, suggesting you are grappling with the anxiety of your husband's attention veering toward someone else.
Jealousy and Control: The jealousy you experience in the dream points to real-life feelings of possessiveness and the need for validation in your relationship. The past instances where your husband has manipulated your emotions by intentionally provoking jealousy create a toxic environment. This brings forth a sense of powerlessness that you may have felt when he sought attention from others, reinforcing your desire to reclaim your strength.
Leaving You Behind: When your husband chooses to skate with kids and leaves you with the childhood friend, it may reflect feelings of abandonment or neglect in your waking life. This could symbolize his emotional unavailability or a propensity to prioritize his whims over your emotional needs, deepening your feelings of alienation.
The Yellow Sticky Note: The sticky note in your husband's hair may signify something sticky or unresolved in your relationship—the idea that there’s something cluttering or complicating your connection. Your action of moving the other woman’s hand away suggests a protective instinct toward your partner’s emotional vulnerability, but it can also reflect an inner conflict, as your desire to reclaim agency collides with a yearning to protect him, suggesting a struggle between your assertiveness and feelings of insecurity.
Rummaging Through the Box: Searching through the box can symbolize your quest for value or meaning in your relationship, as well as your desire to uncover hidden feelings or insights. The fact that you found nothing of worth might suggest your fears of disappointment or feeling stuck, particularly if you’ve been leading a life that feels devoid of fulfillment or connection.
Businessman and Mortgage: The businessman likely signifies practicality and the financial or emotional burdens of your relationship. His sudden appearance may represent the weight of responsibilities and the pressure to maintain stability during turbulent times. When you acknowledge your husband’s presence, it could signal a realization concerning loyalty, but also a distancing from the transactional discussions and emotions associated with your marriage.
Personal Growth and Assertion: Noting your journey of starting to stand up for yourself is crucial. This dream seems to reflect your struggle between asserting your newfound self-confidence against a backdrop of manipulation and control from your husband. The issues you are confronting regarding his potential personality disorder may also translate into a fear of the instability and unpredictability that results from such dynamics.
In conclusion, your dream serves as a vivid representation of your emotional state and highlights your struggles within your marital relationship. It underscores a need to reclaim your sense of self and agency, navigating feelings of jealousy, neglect, and the complexities posed by your spouse’s possibly manipulative behavior. As you move forward in your life, consider focusing on open communication with your husband, seeking support from trusted individuals, and possibly exploring counseling options to work through these complex feelings and dynamics. This could strengthen your resilience and help you cultivate a healthier, more balanced relationship moving forward.